he puts the penis in happiness.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
