oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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