You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
