just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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