Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
