is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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