How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
