I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize