if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
