North Korea, Best Korea!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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