well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
