I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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