I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
