she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
