Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
