So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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