I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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