it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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