Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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