apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I love you. Go after that dick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
