I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
