so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
