If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize