We're like a lot better than the average bears
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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