He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
