Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
