yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
