Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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