She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
