Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize