He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
