and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
