There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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