if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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