you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
