Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
