North Korea, Best Korea!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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