8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize