thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize