you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They took my balls.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
