he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can't turn off my feet"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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