i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
