So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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