You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
