is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
