she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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