Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
