i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
