dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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