Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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