I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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