i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
