went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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