these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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