after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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