this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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