You're so nebulous sometimes
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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