Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
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You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
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Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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